Wobble Man and the Scary Heroes' Origin
by Thomas Dorton
The year: 2099
The month: October
The date: Thursday the 12th
The event: Completion of Operation Wobble World
Everything is different from now. Time-travel is possible. All children
are taught by robots. Most cancers have remedies. And electronically
creating life is about to be possible. After many years of research,
computer work, and bunches of electronic stuff, a group of scientists are
finally creating the predicted-to-be most popular thing since Giga Pets.
A.I. is finally something you communicate to without using something
to clip bugs out of (crummy robots). Wobble World was about to be reality.
And people were rooting this thing on intead of thinking the scientists
were morons.
One hour is past. People all over the world are watching the final bug
being worked out of Wobble World. It's worked out. A flash of light.
A button is pushed, and a portal opens. A scientist with a video camera
walks into the portal. She films a metropolis with flying cars and perfect peace.
Perfect peace is what this world is programmed for. So people can escape to it
when the real world is soiled by evil. And super heroes are here. So they can protect
Wobble World from bad guys tryin' to sneak in. The scientist is greeted by one of the heroes.
The leader.
Wobble Man.
Wobble Man is the inherited title of he who is promoted to leader of all Wobble World
and Scary Heroes Security. He speaks. "Hello, Proffessor Lilliana. We're in a little trouble.
A virus infected the computer just as you opened the portal. A villain is in our midst.
He destroyed only one building in Southcorner City, a Sam's Club." "A Sam's Club?"
replied the proffessor. "What is so speacial about that? Well, they have great...GASP!
Free samples! He's trying to destroy our free samples! How malcontent!"
"What?"
"Evil!"
"Oh...."
"We have to fix it! Did it have a name?" the proffessor claimed. "It disappeared just after
abolishing the building, but left graffiti saying, 'NonWobble Man will conquer'."
Then, another Scary Hero came running up. He was an intern, but a part of the elite force.
He said, "Sir! The NonWobble Guy appeared at Metrocklois Canyon! He's destroying their souvenir
stand!" They rushed off to the canyon with other members of the Scary Heroes. They saw a towering
villain marching on a small souvenir stand. He didn't look like a regular "Giant March On Everything"
monster. He wore armor, cape, headgear, even some laser-shooting gauntlets. And he communicated.
In a loud, high-pitched-for-a-giant-villain-dude (It was a deep voice, but if Godzilla were using it, he'd
sound like he'd inhaled helium), he said "BEWARE THOSE WHO DO NOT FEAR THE WRATH OF
NONWOBBLE MAN! I SHALL DESTROY FREE SAMPLES, CHEESE, SOUVENIRS, AND COMPUTERS
THAT ACTUALLY WORK PRETTY GOOD!" The intern fighter said, "He's a monster! A regular Hitler!"
Wobble Man aimed his hands at NonWobble Man. He fired with a Wobble Bomb, a large ball of power
that causes it's target to stand in one place and wiggle like Jell-O. Direct hit. NonWobble Man
is all wobbly and jiggly. Yet, despite this, he used an Anti-Wobble manuever. He was free. He used his
NonWobble Telport to send Wobble Man to a Cricket Mine in Geckopia. There he would work his butt off
getting crickets for the Geckopians, an empire of civilized reptiles, and could be in danger of getting eaten
by dinosaurs that lived there. This made the intern mad. He was sorely loyal to Wobble Man, and
was his best friend. The intern used a Wobble Rocket and struck NonWobble Man. NonWobble Man
fell and shrunk to a normal adult size.
After announcing to the world that Wobble World was as dangerous as anything is currently,
Prof. Lilliana decided that it would be in the public's best interest to send Wobble World back in
time. She knew it could greatly disturb events that had taken place between when they would send
it back andd their current time, but the public didn't know. So, to keep everybody from being huffy,
she sent it back to the year 2001, where a young boy by the name of Thomas would discover
it on the web and make them known to the world.
The intern, missing his friend, started going through Wobble Man's stuff. He discovered in
a speacial document that HE was going to be the next Wobble Man.
Wobble Man.
Funny name, serious business.
The new Wobble Man has a prized elite Scary Hero team, made up of the following members:
His son, Super Wobbly
His pediatrician, Larangytis Guy
His old college pals, 'Sploding Man, Tool Man, and Afroman
His favorite comdedian, Nuclear Monkey Man
His is next-door neighbors, Person Man and Bob
And his neighbor on the other side, Big Sir.
Together these ten Scary Heroes patrol both of the worlds in search of misdoings done by
NonWobble Man and his associates.
The year: 2001
The place: www.tripod.com
The date: Unknown
The event: Completion of Super Wobbly's web site
Super Wobbly and Thomas, working together, created a web site to enlarge the front against
NonWobble Man's doings. All of a sudden, after typing up a lot of stuff, Thomas puts the finishing
touch on the web site, and when he clicks the button to post it, a temporary interruption occurs
on Tripod. NonWobble Man was at it again. Thomas told the Scary Heroes to load up, and go fight.
They do. They see NonWobble Man...and at large again! NonWobble Man had returned to his
original size and was attacking Geckopia. Desiree, an adolescent female one of the humans
who could enter Wobble World,was clutched in NonWobble Man's rather large paw.
Only one Scary Hero noticed her, and that was little Super Wobbly, who was same age as
Desiree. The two had become quite nice little friends and sometimes Person Man teased them
and said stuff like, "HEY LITTLE WOBBLE! YOU GOIN' OUT TO SEE YER LITTLE
GIRLFRIEND?" Super Wobbly blushed evertime this was said, and he put on an angry face.
Back to the Geckopia stuff, Super Wobbly flew up high, and shouted, "DROP THE GIRL, YOU
&@$%@^*!" NonWobble Man replied in an angry tone, "I'm a WHAT?! GET OUTTA HERE, YOU
LITTLE GUH-NAT!" "It's gnat. Gnaaaaaaaaaaat. Silent G, NonWobble-dude!"
NonWobble Man waved his hand violently up and down, blowing Super Wobbly into a Wal-Mart.
All the other Scary Heroes, who had been busy looking for injured and dead (not smart, in Wobble
World you're virtually immortal) saw what happened to Super Wobbly. They all got mad,
espeacially Wobble Man, because bad things had happened to his loved ones in both his battles
with NonWobble Man. They all flew towards the young, half-dead child all hitting him at the same
time.
A flash of light.
Another beast.
Droouguozindale.
A giant monster. Black in color. Red eyes. Yellow fangs. Claws. Whip-like tail with spikes
running up and down it. And a he-- of a lot of rage. It ran towards NonWobble Man with its head
lunged forward. It headbutted NonWobble Man and knocked the breath out of him. He dropped
Desiree, and the Super Wobbly part of Droouguozindale's mind told it to catch the girl, and it did.
Go figure. NonWobble Man then drove his claws into Droouguozindale's chest, then sent millions
of volts of electricity into him. Fighting back, Droouguozindale used a Notorious-Thrash-Metal-
Terrorist-Implosion-NIN-Blitzkrieg-Bop-Wobble-Gas-Quake- Bomb and sent NonWobble Man
flying into the Greatodjo Desert.
Later, at Scary Hero Sick Bay, Super Wobbly was recovering from
minor hair injuries. Yeah, he's not going bald today. Anywho,
the doctor came in just after the last of the Scary Heroes visited him
and said he had one last visitor. In walked Desiree. She was holding
a paper bag. She said, "I got something for ya." She reached in the
bag and pulled out a Big Mac. Super Wobbly looked at the burger,
then at Desiree. He said, "Desiree...you...didn't have t-" She
cut him off. "I did though." It was beautiful. "Thanks for saving me,
Super Wobbly." She kissed his cheek.
The doctor came said he'd be out of comission for another couple of
hours.
THE END!!
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